Monday, February 28, 2011

forget.

my mind talks in its sleep
and keeps me awake.
youd think in a silent room
that i could understand the thoughts.


you try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself to make yourself forget.

i came to terms
with
the
fact
ill
never
forget
this.

but thank you,
ill be better than before.

flame



dont let them tell you your life is a shame,
even if your love is just a dream.

he asked, are you happy where youre sleeping,
cause if it doesnt keep you warm
you can home with me and ill tell you when
youre wrong.
ill tell you your hair looks messy
and your eyes are tired.
i wont bring you
breakfast in bed
or ever even mention flowers,
ill let you sleep alone at night
and forget to come home.
ill keep my secrets and let you know
when you bother me.
ill tell you i love you,
but make sure i never show you.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

dead

i knew youd leave me with these feathers in my hair.
enough waiting for you,
all my sins ive paid for in these last days.
silent angels climbed into my bed
last night and told me to run.
all my innocence was wasted
on your dead conscience.

im not worried

i let the candle burn down to the wick
and he said im not worried.
i was overly concerned.
i wrapped it up in a package of lies
and sent it away.
this shade of gray,
this space inbetween
has left me shuttering for days.
he said, im not ready for this sort of thing.
well im not gonna break,
i said im not gonna break
and im not gonna get
snapped up in your buttefly net again.
i realized im not worried because
ive done this sort of thing.
youve dropped me
off at this dead end before,
open the door and pushed me out
onto the grass.

and all of a sudden


my life fell into the palm of my hands the other day.
i looked down at it and i couldve either let go
or i couldve dropped it onto the concrete.
i held onto it and it put it in my right pocket.
yesterday i realized it was still in there.
it told me it had been dying from
lack of oxygen, but mostly from
the lack of attention.
everything needs attention.
i was ignoring my life and
had let it go on for too long.
im glad that the sun has
finally come out and that i finally
ceased to focus on the rain clouds from
the other day.
things are better and i realized
i have always been happy,
it has been there all along.
so now when the sun goes down at
night i slip it into my pocket
just to remind myself that its still
there even if you cant always see it.

Friday, February 25, 2011

come home.


im falling asleep
curled up in this jacket on
my front porch waiting for you
to come back home.
i know youre gone.
but i pretend to forget,
id shoot the moon if itd
bring it all back.
if i could give
you all a piece of advice
id say boys, go home to her
while you still can.

run.

sweet baby whered you get that gun?
she said he loaded two bullets and then
turned around to run.

Monday, February 21, 2011

pretend


that drop of rain hit my toes before i could swallow it all.
and i know i stay up late because it hurts less than
the mornings without you.
but im no little girl anymore
and its time to be welcomed into the real world.
i cant live in black and white anymore.
sometimes i remember
watching you sail away into the gray skied morning.
but nothings the same now,
i wont let you steal my world.
its not so bad when you tell yourself its ok.
pretending works for now.

burry


getting in a little night time sun.
i found my way out your door
realizing no one had won.
id still like to hold your hand
and think that you know your way
through this.
you once saved my days,
now i wanna stay away
but its a little too early
to burry all my worries.
i still wonder which one of us
is gonna state the obvious.
before i catch you
complaining about the rain,
ill point out my fear of the sunshine.
oh love,
when it rains it shows in your face,
and when i look in your eyes i fear that i wont
see surprise.

running


youve got me cryin.
'this wasnt your plan.'
well mine either,
take your sweater and take your time.
find your rhyme
because ive got the reason.
in the meantime im
running away from my blues.
you can make your little get away,
my pride will keep me company
while you just gave yours all away.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

its been a while.


in the morning the gray sun slips in through my living room blinds
while i sip from my stained mug.
my oversized t shirt and bitter tea fit the morning perfectly,
i can feel the goosebumps on my bare legs and remember
that no matter how much i wish its still not warm outside.
i never sleep in pants because i like the way my legs
feel up against each other,
my frail fame keeps me cold
through out the day.
my mind is boggled by how fast things change.
one morning you wake up to your perfect life,
the next morning you wake up and it all fell apart, well not all.
its been two weeks and every morning i still wake up
with you on my mind.
remembering you next to me in bed,
you a phone call a way.
the way your voice sounded in the morning
and how no matter how hard i tried i could
never wake you before 9.
i remember your pants on my floor
and the blankets in a ball over you.
some mornings id lay there, drink my tea and
watch you sleep.
now some mornings i lay there, drink
my tea and look over to where your imprint still
is on my twenty dollar sheets.


this is not to say that i havent found my
happiness within myself.
ya ya ya i know all that.
i know me, i know my soul,
i know my happiness is in me.
im wonderful on my own,
that doesnt mean i dont miss
the way he use to look at me
before things came tumbling down.