faded

you make me high.

and i stay high.

in the rain.

she said she wanted to be rain that tasted like wine.
a deliberate tactic to get him drunk off her love.
the clouds were as scattered as her life
when she was searching for him.
the rain fell sideways,
hitting her heart indirectly.
those were the days she missed him the most.

time to go.

ive been up all night, i might sleep all day.
he said, you get your dreams just right
and then let them slip away.
she said, when the road gets clear, ill head on out of here.
so she closed to blinds and poured a glass of whiskey
while she ate strawberries and
fantasized about her make believe smile.

all night

he said where a little dress so i can get it off real easy
she said its to late to get high now.

dead flowers.

it was painfully perfect.
i let my heart lay on youre bedside table
while you kissed me.
your words were like familiar music
but your touch was new.
passion bounced off that cheap lampshade
and onto our whiskey drunk hearts.
he said, youre dangerous."
i said, "you have no idea."
he once told me "he'd eat my soul."
little does he know i left
"my heart hanging from a string on his necklace."
I knew this would all end up bleeding.
but this is nothing shy of my story.
i find love that is wonderful at causing pain.
i know this, im really good at it.
ive been doing it like a job since i was
16 and lost my virginity in geoffs schuelers basement.
the pain is worth it at some point.
i drink, smoke, eat, and snort passion.
that touch- no matter how little or how long-
is the best high.
now its a constant withdrawl.
back to that night---
youre hands were full of me
and the room was lit up by the cities light,
casting a perfect shadow on your tattooed chest.
the bed smelled like old love and dead flowers.
i stripped down to my soul for you
and you called me and angel.
i could feel the heat
of your breath on my neck bone
when you whispered in my ear.
your hand found home behind my head
and my head found home on your chest.
ive found myself infatuated with
something completely outside
the realm of reality-
im not the slightest bit suprised.

ps id like to thank the city lights for the night light.

an old high

i emptied drawers of other winters, where my innocence use to be.
i found my broken heart,
my virginity,
and my first high.
i put em all in a shoe box and
shoved em under my bed.

last night.

and in the evenings in this city,
when the colors start to fade,
she puts on that black dress with her black hair to match.
he said, youre better than the world.
she looked over her shoulder exhausted
and said im tired of feeling nothing, goodbye.
he said find your faith and dry your eyes,
youve been waiting on a long time to fall apart.
she fell down to her knees.