Peddle Promises

wicker dresser

as she pulled her screen door shut she remembered she forgot something.
she slipped off her tattered shoes with the worn in heels and ran barefoot up her cold wooden stairs. she opened the door to her dusty room and grabbed her innoncence off her cracked wicker dresser, she thought to herself, 'i still need this.'

young love was worse than heroin.

the thought of you with her is like a gut wrenching twist that has stolen my stability. at that point in time, the one we both remember, then and there was when i felt whole with you. only for that brief frame did I ever think that it would last.
you were a constant battle in my fragile yet panic stricken heart. i knew i needed out but the doors seemed dull and boring with jageded door knobs and broken locks.
young love was worse than heroin for my fragile frame.

she was tiny and frail but her bones held enough passion to break his soul.
he said, i can tell your trouble.
she rolled her eyes and thought to herself, you have no idea.
enough battle scars and broken windows for such a young heart.
he told her, i can feel your pain in your palpatations,
its a sweet sensation like a sickness the sickness that you love to breathe.

if i breathe in real deep i can remember your dirty sheets and empty coffee cups.
i shouldve never dabbled with your conscience, i wish i wouldve taken note
of your damaged mind and ran home.

i still love you

i pulled my shirt up over my head today to show the world my heart.

heavy

darkness is a home
and
when you date the devil you ashes are heavy.

in an old wicker chair i read from my old journal, posts of how i missed your touch. i sat there in my summer time cut off jean shorts, your t shirt and a dirty pair of sandals.

dont think that i forgot you or
that my heart doesnt remember your cold breath.
dont think my mind falls short to remember your pain.
your the devils angel to me now.

yours.

it was your heart on the line.
and now
i found out your wrists were made of steel.

i hung my thoughts by string from my ceiling and watched them swing back and forth

old cigarettes and southern bells.
he was the kind of guy thatd leave her bleeding.

loosing

she had to come down,
but from now on it was her against herself.
she had every intention of loosing.

for good this time

she knew your eyes were lying,
they were glazed over as you stared at your feet.

she watched his hand shake while he touched her chin.
the only thing they had in common now was the ground
they were standing on.
her mind had been made up and she
was leaving,
for good.

too careful

if youre too careful itll all get turned the other way.
stand there and breathe while you look to your left.
dont believe if they say the dreams have caved in,
believe if they say the dreams have flooded and
overdosed the rest of us.

the ghost in you.

an empty cup of tea while i wait to pull you out from the inside.
egg whites and a black mind.
tongue tied to say the least, your stutter made me shutter
leaving me trying to pull myself out from the inside.
all the papers lined the table
while i kept falling over.
he said, "angels fall like rain."
i gained my balance after my engined died
to tell you that the ghost in you will never die.
she wont fade.

street corners and coffe cups

Black tea and apples go well together,
like percoset and tired bones.

you carry your sword under water
and let the chemical weapon in
your heart fight this battles.

no lights

i turned off the lights at home alone,
i can be free from all of that
and stray from that history.
its been a long night in los angeles.
i dont remember the way you look,
i dont remember you.
i couldnt even fake love for an hour
if i tried.

=

do

oh yea, i remember this,
ive done this before.

forget.

my mind talks in its sleep
and keeps me awake.
youd think in a silent room
that i could understand the thoughts.


you try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself to make yourself forget.

i came to terms
with
the
fact
ill
never
forget
this.

but thank you,
ill be better than before.

flame

dont let them tell you your life is a shame,
even if your love is just a dream.

he asked, are you happy where youre sleeping,
cause if it doesnt keep you warm
you can home with me and ill tell you when
youre wrong.
ill tell you your hair looks messy
and your eyes are tired.
i wont bring you
breakfast in bed
or ever even mention flowers,
ill let you sleep alone at night
and forget to come home.
ill keep my secrets and let you know
when you bother me.
ill tell you i love you,
but make sure i never show you.

dead

i knew youd leave me with these feathers in my hair.
enough waiting for you,
all my sins ive paid for in these last days.
silent angels climbed into my bed
last night and told me to run.
all my innocence was wasted
on your dead conscience.

im not worried

i let the candle burn down to the wick
and he said im not worried.
i was overly concerned.
i wrapped it up in a package of lies
and sent it away.
this shade of gray,
this space inbetween
has left me shuttering for days.
he said, im not ready for this sort of thing.
well im not gonna break,
i said im not gonna break
and im not gonna get
snapped up in your buttefly net again.
i realized im not worried because
ive done this sort of thing.
youve dropped me
off at this dead end before,
open the door and pushed me out
onto the grass.

and all of a sudden

my life fell into the palm of my hands the other day.
i looked down at it and i couldve either let go
or i couldve dropped it onto the concrete.
i held onto it and it put it in my right pocket.
yesterday i realized it was still in there.
it told me it had been dying from
lack of oxygen, but mostly from
the lack of attention.
everything needs attention.
i was ignoring my life and
had let it go on for too long.
im glad that the sun has
finally come out and that i finally
ceased to focus on the rain clouds from
the other day.
things are better and i realized
i have always been happy,
it has been there all along.
so now when the sun goes down at
night i slip it into my pocket
just to remind myself that its still
there even if you cant always see it.

come home.

im falling asleep
curled up in this jacket on
my front porch waiting for you
to come back home.
i know youre gone.
but i pretend to forget,
id shoot the moon if itd
bring it all back.
if i could give
you all a piece of advice
id say boys, go home to her
while you still can.

run.

sweet baby whered you get that gun?
she said he loaded two bullets and then
turned around to run.

pretend

that drop of rain hit my toes before i could swallow it all.
and i know i stay up late because it hurts less than
the mornings without you.
but im no little girl anymore
and its time to be welcomed into the real world.
i cant live in black and white anymore.
sometimes i remember
watching you sail away into the gray skied morning.
but nothings the same now,
i wont let you steal my world.
its not so bad when you tell yourself its ok.
pretending works for now.

burry

getting in a little night time sun.
i found my way out your door
realizing no one had won.
id still like to hold your hand
and think that you know your way
through this.
you once saved my days,
now i wanna stay away
but its a little too early
to burry all my worries.
i still wonder which one of us
is gonna state the obvious.
before i catch you
complaining about the rain,
ill point out my fear of the sunshine.
oh love,
when it rains it shows in your face,
and when i look in your eyes i fear that i wont
see surprise.

running

youve got me cryin.
'this wasnt your plan.'
well mine either,
take your sweater and take your time.
find your rhyme
because ive got the reason.
in the meantime im
running away from my blues.
you can make your little get away,
my pride will keep me company
while you just gave yours all away.

its been a while.

in the morning the gray sun slips in through my living room blinds
while i sip from my stained mug.
my oversized t shirt and bitter tea fit the morning perfectly,
i can feel the goosebumps on my bare legs and remember
that no matter how much i wish its still not warm outside.
i never sleep in pants because i like the way my legs
feel up against each other,
my frail fame keeps me cold
through out the day.
my mind is boggled by how fast things change.
one morning you wake up to your perfect life,
the next morning you wake up and it all fell apart, well not all.
its been two weeks and every morning i still wake up
with you on my mind.
remembering you next to me in bed,
you a phone call a way.
the way your voice sounded in the morning
and how no matter how hard i tried i could
never wake you before 9.
i remember your pants on my floor
and the blankets in a ball over you.
some mornings id lay there, drink my tea and
watch you sleep.
now some mornings i lay there, drink
my tea and look over to where your imprint still
is on my twenty dollar sheets.


this is not to say that i havent found my
happiness within myself.
ya ya ya i know all that.
i know me, i know my soul,
i know my happiness is in me.
im wonderful on my own,
that doesnt mean i dont miss
the way he use to look at me
before things came tumbling down.

driving home

lets take a boat til the end of the world,
cause i know this car will only last half the way.
i drove 85 in that morning when it quickly turned to
afternoon.
i thought, step one:
breathe,
step two:
sit down.
i stared through the window, the one to your right.
i saw the fear of fate between the curtains.
this curved road ends soon and
its a straight shot to my home.

she said

she said watch this,
ill pull the moon down and wear it around my neck tonight.
the perfect accesory to the perfect evening.
for the first time in a while she questioned it.
she said,
i know these are the days when the world gets colder.
cause i can feel my chest turn to front when i breathe in your thought.

on fire

he said i could taste her passion for art on her skin.
she said if this is what it takes to get me even higher
then ill break through.
i know the world has been testing me.
he said i cant seem to shake this off
you keep on running to protect your situation.
she said ya and ill walk through fire after i
walk through water.

la

because she says in some ways minneapolis is more real than LA.
what am i supposed to say though,
she said exactly how you hear it is how it is.
it was later in the evening
when he decided to come over.